Forever my miracle
by tje6454
Summary: Bill and Sookie should have ended up together, but Bill being the honorable type decided for himself and Sookie what was best. Was it really for the best? Was he really listening to what Sookie was saying in those last few shows? How did his decision effect Sookie? This is just one of my takes on how it could have ended up for our love birds.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything in regards to True Blood. I am just a fan who hated how the show ended and how the book ended as well. I therefore felt I had to write how I believe it should have actually worked out and that is with Bill and Sookie being together forever. This is my first fan fiction attempt ever so hopefully I did this uploading and whatnot right.

Chapter 1

"Sookie"

Heavens how delicious it sounded when he said her name in his deep southern drawl. Sookie would never get over how her body tingled as if feathers were being stroked all over her whenever he said her name. Bill was her everything. From the moment she looked over and saw him sitting in a booth at Merlottes he became her world. Now as she lay upon the bed without a stich on just dying for him to settle his wonderful weight upon her she could not believe something so wonderful and right could truly be hers. Looking up into his eyes she saw so much love and need for her it stopped her heart. He was the most wonderful man and he was forever hers.

Smiling down upon her Bill leaned on one arm as he caressed her cheek with his other hand. "Sookie, my miracle I love you."

A smile brighter than the sun shined back at him as Sookie guided his head down for a loving kiss and a whispered, "I love you too Bill Compton and I will love you forever."

Bill enveloped her in a hug so tight it took her breath, but did not stop her from seeing the blood falling from his eyes as he shed tears "Forever Sookie, forever."

"Bill? What is wrong?" Concerned Sookie wiped at the blood hoping to ease his suffering all the while feeling a strange pull, a pull to return, but return where?

Smiling his half smile Bill lightly kissed her forehead, "You must wake up now Sookie your life awaits."

"My life? What do you mean Bill?"

"You're dreaming Sookie. It is time for you to wake up sweetheart."

"No. I don't want to leave you Bill."

"You must Sookie. Your grandchildren are coming today for Christmas remember?"

"Oh yes of course, but…"

"I will be here when you dream Sookie…always."

With one last sweet kiss the dream faded away and Sookie found herself in her bed alone with tears sliding down her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sookie watched from the comfort of her Lazy-boy recliner as her grandchildren attacked the wrappings of their presents with savage intent seeking the treasures Santa brought them this year. As with all the years that had passed Sookie could not help but smile at the joy radiating from her children and their children. Gatherings like these were becoming seldom as the children had grown so much now they sought more exciting events then those they could find with family.

Sookie was alone this year as she had been for the last five years ever since her husband had passed away from cancer. Matthew had been a wonderful husband and father. He had cared for his family beyond all else and Sookie had always felt humbled by him. She had also felt a guilt that had grown stronger and deeper within her as the years had passed and she had never been able to love him as he had loved her. Oh she had loved him, but she had not been in love with him.

Last night's dream came rushing back to her. Bill and his love and her love for him had always been the issue. After all these years Sookie believed she understood now why Bill had wanted to die. She could understand wanting to be with your children and grandchildren and not wanting to live longer than them. She could understand now that he was tired of living. It did not stop her from still being angry at him for leaving her and Jessica as he did. She always wondered why if he loved her so much he could not have just stayed with her until she died and then he too could have left this world in whichever way he choose. These were questions she had thought upon for most of her life now. As the guilt built year after year, due to her inability to love Matthew as he deserved, Sookie would have loved to slap Bill once more and say, "See! Your grand idea of giving me what you thought I wanted…a normal life wasn't what I wanted at all. All I ever wanted was you!"

As a tear slide unnoticed by most this Christmas morning Sookie's heart ached for Bill and what they could have had together.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hey have you noticed how depressed grandma seems lately?"

"No, Grandma Sookie seems the same as ever to me."

"Why does that not surprise me Dane? You are so clueless sometimes! Grandma Sookie looks like she has lost her best friend or something. Just this morning as we were opening presents I saw her wipe away tears from her eyes. I have noticed her doing that a lot lately…crying for some reason."

Dane annoyed now, which happened a lot when he was talking with his sister Rebecca, gave her a nasty look as he rechecked his rifle to make sure it was ready for the hunting him and the boys were going to do later that afternoon. "Who knows what goes through old people's minds? Maybe she is just sad because Grandpa Matthew isn't here anymore."

Shaking her head Rebecca replied, "Now I loved Grandpa Matthew too, but he has been gone for over five years now and she is just now starting to seem so sad all the time. No there has to be some other reason for her to be crying and seeming as if she is lost in thought."

Dane huffed, "Women! You all have to see something in nothing. If it is such a big issue for you why not just ask her why she is sad and crying all the time. Why do you always have to analysis something to death?"

"In all your eighteen years Dane and all your multiple women, for surely you are turning out to be just as Grandma Sookie has said an exact replica of her brother Jason, how can you not have any understanding of women? Men never notice anything unless it jumps right in their face waving both hands and screaming at them. Women are more in tuned with those around them and I am telling you something is wrong with Grandma Sookie. You are right though in that I should just ask Grandma Sookie why she is so sad." With that Rebecca headed back to the house leaving a very annoyed Dane standing alone in the shed.

Women! Especially sisters could be so annoying. Dane could only see one reason for a woman in his life and after that he had no use for any of them. They only brought pain as he had learned this past year after foolishly falling in love only to have his heart stomped upon. No sir, he could take them or leave them now. Sisters and Grandmothers were of course a different story and he did truly love his female relations, but today he could not seem to worry about his Grandmother as his sister obliviously thought he should. Grandmother Sookie, he knew, was one tough old bird and she could take care of herself. With that last thought Dane went back to cleaning his rifle anticipating a successful hunt later in the afternoon.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Rebecca found her Grandmother sitting in her favorite rocking chair on the front porch obliviously lost in deep thought. Worried, even more so now, Rebecca was highly empathic and she could feel the sorrow coming off her Grandmother in waves. Bracing herself against the need to weep Rebecca quietly climbed the stairs and took a seat on the porch swing. Silence, Rebecca had learned in her short life, often yielded the most gain so she sat there just allowing the porch swing to creak back and forth waiting for her Grandmother to come back to the present and to her.

Sookie had be reliving the first moments of meeting Bill when she realized her granddaughter Rebecca was sitting on the porch swing staring at her. Rebecca was her favorite grandchild. Oh she knew you shouldn't have favorites, but alas she did. Rebecca was so caring of all those around her one could not help but love Rebecca. Sookie knew by the worried look in Rebecca's eyes that her granddaughter was concerned about her. For the past few weeks Sookie had been having constant dreams about Bill and their love for one another. She had also been finding herself more often than not lost in thought and having to be forcefully pulled back into the present. What this meant she did not know. She had always had dreams of Bill since the moment she had met him so the dreams were nothing new, but the losing oneself into deep thought throughout the day was new. Sookie had always tried to be present and not to dwell on what she had lost when she was awake and with her family and friends…those moments were reserved for her dreams, but now she could not seem to help herself.

"Rebecca dear did you have a good Christmas morning?" Sookie asked trying to get back to being the loving grandmother she was.

Relieved that her grandmother was radiating not so much sorrow now Rebecca let out a breath of bent up air and smiled back, "Yes this morning was great. Thank you for the hand knitted sweater, I love it."

Laughing Sookie gently squeezed Rebecca's hand, "Who would have thought I could ever learn to knit…my Grandmother Adele tried to teach me, but I always seemed to have other things to do at the time. I am glad now that I have taken these last few years and have learned to do it properly."

"Perhaps you could teach me sometime; I would love to learn."

"Of course my dear…why not start right now. Go inside and beside the couch in the living room is my bag full of the stuff we will need. Bring it here and we can start your lessons."

Happy to see her grandmother in better spirits and not wanting to return her to what seemed to be a world of depression Rebecca decided to not ask her grandmother any probing questions today and instead endeavor to lift her grandmother's spirit even more. With that goal in mind Rebecca rushed off to gather the items Grandmother Sookie mentioned.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He was back! Sookie could not help but laugh as she ran to him. Bill wrapped her in a hug as she reached him. It felt so safe and wonderful to be held by him again. Sookie loved him so much she felt her heart would burst. His smell, his touch was so beloved by her that she felt tears gather in her eyes. He seemed to know as he leaned a small inch away from her to look into her eyes and gently pressed forward to kiss her eyelids.

"Sookie…Sookie…my love."

Smiling Sookie was overjoyed to be with him again, "Bill I love you."

"I know Sookie. I have always known. And soon we will be together again." Bill took her hand in his and began walking with her beside a small stream. The green color of the trees and grass were so brilliant and the water seemed so crystal clear it took Sookie's breath away.

"When? When can we be together again?" Sookie wanted to be with Bill again so bad she felt at times she would explode if she had to wait much longer.

"Soon. You still have some things to accomplish before we can be together forever, but the time is coming soon." Bill smiled and lifted her hand to his lips giving it a sweet kiss. "I for one cannot wait to introduce you to my children and spend endless days with you again."

"Your children?"

"Yes, I have been able to reconnect with my children and my family…I will explain in more detail when the time comes, but just know the place where we will finally be together again is an amazing place so full of love and joy. The only thing for me that it is missing is you, my love." Bill gave her his classic half smile and kissed her gently. "I have missed you so Sookie."

Even though she was so happy to see him and be in his arms Sookie could not help the spark of anger that washed through her. With a small glare Sookie pulled back and settled more loosely in his arms, "Bill I love you, but I still am not happy with you about your decision to leave me and Jessica as you did. I would not have had to miss you for these many years and neither would you have had to miss me if you had just stayed with me!" Tears of frustration started to gather in her eyes as she let loose her feelings, "I understand you wanted to give me what you thought I wanted, but you were not listening to me! All I ever wanted was you. We could have been a family…we could have adopted children or with how advanced medicine was then we could have had me artificially inseminated. We could have created a life together!" Pulling completely out of his arms Sookie stomped over to a willow tree and plopped down onto the ground glaring up at Bill.

Shoulders tense Bill took a deep breath and walked over to the most amazing woman he had ever known. Gazing down upon Sookie Bill admitted to himself that he had made a mistake when he decided to leave this woman. "You are right Sookie. I have realized as the years have passed I should have stayed with you and Jessica. We could have created a life together…an amazing life. My only excuse is I truly did believe it was for the best that I leave you. I did not believe I could give you what you wanted…I never could believe that I deserved you. I still do not believe I deserve you, but I am so thankful that you want me still." Kneeling down his knees upon the wet grass Bill took Sookies' hand with his own, "Sookie I will do anything and everything to atone for this mistake I have made. The biggest mistake I have ever made. I know I have done a lot of that with our relationship…making mistakes stupid mistakes. Just know I have always done so with the best of intentions. I have always only ever wanted you to be happy." Bill's grip on her hand tightened a bit as he waited with bated breath for Sookie to say something.

Sookie could not help the frustration she still felt for men and their good intentions, but her love for Bill cancelled out any and all mistakes he could ever make. "Bill you are so good and honorable and sometimes I want to beat you over the head for all your good intentions. You have made mistakes…a lot of them," Sookie heard him chuckle and joined him for a second but continued, "And I have made mistakes. We neither of us are perfect, but we are perfect together. I would like to thank you for my children and grandchild for I do love them dearly. I just wish they could have been yours as well."

"As do I Sookie."

"Matthew was a good man and a great father. I am glad to have known him and for the love we did share." Sookie looked down upon their entwined hands as she continued, "But as with Alcid I could never love him as much as he loved me. This caused me a lot of heartache for I truly did want to be able to love another fully. I have only ever been able to love you with my whole heart, mind, soul and body."

Bill settled himself down beside her and took her into his embrace. "I am so sorry Sookie. I truly believed that if I were gone you would be able to let go and free yourself to live a normal life with love and children. All the things you deserve." Bill stroked her hair as he felt her silently weep. "I should have known though that it would not work out as I had hoped. For I too have been in relationships were I loved, but nothing I have experienced has ever come close to the love I feel for you. I had never believed in soul mates or one person truly belonging to another…at least not until I meet a beautiful blonde hair Louisiana girl in a bar with a talent for hearing people's thoughts."

Sookie wiped away the tears from her eyes. Looking up into Bill's eyes she wondered if she had the nerve to ask what she wanted to know. Taking the courage from the love she saw in her man's eyes Sookie blurted out, "Not even for your wife Carolyn?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Grandma wake up…please wake up grandma Sookie."

Sookie slowly woke up finding herself looking up into the worried face of her granddaughter Rebecca. "Oh child I am awake. No need to worry. Old people just take longer to wake up…you'll know what I mean in another sixty years or so." Hoping to smooth over another situation in which she found herself being forcefully returned to the real world Sookie gave her granddaughter a wink and a pat on the hand before climbing out of the rocking chair she had fallen asleep in once again. Maybe she thought to herself she should replace the cushions for they had become mighty worn offering no comfort at all.

"Rebecca not that I don't enjoy our time together, but what brings you out to my home today?"

"I came for my next lesson. Remember we said we would meet every day this week right after school?"

Sookie shook her head mentally at herself. "Another thing my dear you will learn along with falling asleep wherever you may be when you are older is your memory starts to go. But that is okay. Go into the house and bring what we need and after I have a short stretch to ease these old bones we can begin."

"Okay grandma I will be right back." Rebecca left her grandma on the porch feeling a strange sensation almost as if there was another presence with them. That couldn't be though…there was no one there except her grandmother and her. Maybe Dane was right and she was just a weird freak, but she could swear she felt an actual presence hovering around her grandmother and if she tried hard enough she even thought she could feel its emotions. The overwhelming emotion she got from whatever it was could only be described as love. A love so deep it brought tears to Rebecca's eyes.

Having gathered all she thought they would need Rebecca returned to the porch trying this time to sense the presence she felt a few moments ago, but it was gone. Disheartened for she had never experienced such a unique sensation before Rebecca tried to focus on what grandma Sookie was saying about planning out a pattern before actually starting any work.

After an hour and half of frustration Rebecca called in the towel for the day. "Grandma I think I am done for the day. I have to get back home and help mom with dinner and I have a few papers I have to write for class which are due tomorrow." Gathering the various items she had taken from the house earlier Rebecca packed them all away in preparation for tomorrow's lesson.

Sookie walked in the house with Rebecca smiling as she encouraged her granddaughter, "I know knitting can be annoying and frustrating in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it you'll enjoy it. The peace one can find by just knitting and having the ability to get lost in one's own thoughts…you will discover it can be very enjoyable."

Looking at her grandmother Rebecca needed to explain something she had not tried to explain to anyone else…not even herself. "Grandma Sookie…I think I already spend enough time lost in my own thoughts. I find it hard to focus in on the present. I know you know I am not a normal girl. I feel what everyone is feeling and it overwhelms me so much sometimes that I get lost in the woods just trying to get away from being bombarded with other people's emotions. I haven't spoken to ma or pa about it in a long while and not how it has gotten worst, but I feel like I am slowly going crazy." Tears formed in Rebecca's eyes as she watched her grandmother pat the cushion of the couch beside her in the standard come and sit by me signal.

Taking her into her arms Sookie whispered, "It will be alright Rebecca…we will figure this out. There is nothing to worry about I am here."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Later that evening_

Sookie sat in front of her fireplace thinking about Rebecca and the best way to help her. Sookie knew how scary it could be having other people's lives whether it was their thoughts or emotions constantly bombarding you. It was unique though that Rebecca felt their emotions instead of hearing their thoughts as Sookie did. Perhaps their fairy blood could cause this as well. After Bill had died Sookie had retreated from the world for a long time and in that time she had focused on learning all she could about her fairy abilities and history. In all her research she had not heard of such a strong reaction as Rebecca described involving emotions. There was only one recourse Sookie could think of, and even though she was loathed to do it, she knew the best way to help Rebecca was in seeking answers from Grandfather Niall. That would have to wait until tomorrow though. Instead of the knitting lesson Rebecca and Sookie would take a walk to the cemetery and see if they could get any answers from Grandfather Niall.

Sighing for she had no desire at all to speak with that man ever again Sookie poked the logs of the fire earning her a crackle and a half a dozen new flames. Sookie watched as the colors swirled and combined almost hypnotizing in their beauty. Allowing her mind to slip back to this afternoon and the last dream of Bill she tried to analysis his response to her last question. He hadn't had much time to response to her question since her granddaughter had woken her up mire seconds after she had voiced it. His look though had been…guarded.

Sookie knew from the first time he spoke of his human life on their walk through the cemetery that long ago night, that he had loved his family deeply. Seeing him that final night as he discovered the picture of himself and his daughter in his before unused coffin reveled how much he still missed them. If there was any understanding to be had from the events that took him away from her it would be her understanding of his need to reunite with his family. Now that she had experienced the joys of motherhood and later being a grandmother she could understand his longing to see his children and yes even his wife though it pained her to admit it. Bill had always said she was the love of his life, but Sookie could not help and wonder if that were true. Perhaps his love for his past wife out shadowed his love for Sookie and that is why he chose to leave. These sorts of doubts did not settle easily in Sookie's stomach which at the moment was all tied up in knots. She was jealous of a dead man's dead wife for goodness sake! Of course Bill loved his wife for that was the type of man he was. Where that left her she did not know for Bill continued to say they would be together again soon, but if they were together again in some sort of afterlife wouldn't his wife be there also? Even though she had fantasized once about sharing Bill and Eric she knew she would never really have done it. She was a one man kind of woman and she expected the man she loved to be a one woman man…the woman being her!

Frustrated with her swirling thoughts Sookie headed up stairs to get ready for bed. Perhaps tonight when she dreamed and Bill came to her she would get some answers.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As she watched him walk toward her Sookie's heart picked up in rhythm. She thought him so handsome. Bill had that mysterious brooding quality about him that caused most women to fall down in worship and Sookie was no exception. She could tell by his eyes, which were laser focused on her, that he was happy to see her. Happiness was bubbling inside her as well for him, but she could not push down the rising feel of uncertainty. What would he finally say in regards to her last question? Would he gently explain that though he loved her he loved his wife more? Or would he say that though he had loved his wife, Sookie was truly the love of his life and he wanted to be with her?

Good grief she was done with this back and forth…she needed answers.

"Bill I am sorry, but I feel like I am going to go crazy. I need to know what your answer is to my last question about your wife. Just tell me…I will understand. Or at least I will try and understand. I know you loved her and your children deeply. I can understand for I loved Matthew too…of course not like I love you, but I understand there can be no easy answer to this question…"

Pulling her into his embrace Bill interrupted her for with a nervous Sookie she could go on a never ending rant if someone didn't step in and get her to calm down. "Wow there Sookie just take a breath."

Settling her more comfortably into his arms Bill gently caressed her hair back from her forehead. This was a question he had often thought over himself. Carolyn had been a wonderful woman and a loving wife. He had truly believed she was the one love for him, but that had been when his world was small. Once he was turned his world had expanded so wide that what he felt for Carolyn now felt what he imaged most felt for their high school sweetheart. Having meet and loved Sookie he could say without reservation that she, Sookie, was **_the_** love of his life.

"Sweetheart I am so sorry for the pain and confusion this must have caused you, but I do not want you to ever doubt that you are **_the_** love of my life."

A sense of relief washed through Sookie and the tension just drained out of her after hearing the sincerity in his tone and words.

Never breaking eye contact Bill continued, "I loved Carolyn and I will always love her for she is the mother of my children and my first love. What we had was special and if my life had continued in the normal vein then it would have been wonderful and enough. My fate was not a normal life as it turns out and my destiny was not Carolyn, but you." Smiling down upon her Bill felt his heart might burst. "Sookie Stackhouse I have loved you from the moment I met you. I have loved you through the good times we had and the bad times. I will love you with all that I am until the end of time. You are the love of my life, my destiny, and never doubt it…never."

Huge fat tears ran down Sookie's face as Bill leaned in to kiss her forehead then her closed eyelids followed by a gently caress of his nose against hers.

Sookie looked into a pair of eyes that held so much love and devotion and she could only thank the powers that be that she was lucky enough to be back in his arms. Bill was right. She was his destiny and he was hers.

"When…when can we finally be together?"

"Soon sweetheart, but your granddaughter needs you now. Go and help her knowing I am here waiting for you…loving you."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sookie and Rebecca walked arm in arm through the cemetery on their way to summon Grandfather Niall.

"Doesn't this cemetery give you the creeps grandma?"

Looking around the cemetery Sookie slowly shook her head, "No. I have come to think of this place as an old friend. So many loved ones are buried here and so many important events in my life have played out here that I find a sense of peace whenever I walk here."

"I guess I can see what you mean. I just remember Dane sneaking up on me, scaring me, a few years ago when I was walking to your house, and decided to cut through the cemetery, that I have developed a need to check behind ever little corner."

Laughing softly for Dane reminded Sookie of her brother Jason so much she could never seem to lecture the boy as she probably should. He was wildly impulsive and tender-hearted even if he pretended otherwise.

"Your brother Dane is a rascal to be sure, but he loves you."

Knowing her grandmother was right Rebecca smiled over at her, "I know he does and I love him too, but there are days I would like to take a switch to him!"

Gaining the spot where they would summon Grandfather Niall Sookie turned Rebecca to face her taking both hands into hers, "I know you would, but choose your fights and let the small stuff go…it will be worth your patience in the end." Smiling as Rebecca nodded Sookie became serious, "Okay Rebecca we are going to try and get Grandfather Niall to take notice of us and visit with us so we can ask him some questions about why you're feeling everyone's emotions. It may take some time to get his attention so just be patient. Also, don't get your hopes up too high. He may not know why this happening."

"I will be patient grandma and if he knows that would be good, but if he doesn't we will just find a different way…right?"

Shaking her head yes Sookie proclaimed, "I won't leave you until we find out what is going on I promise."

"Good that makes me feel better I…wait "won't leave me?" Why would you be talking of leaving grandma?"

"Because, everyone must leave eventually dear, even your Grandmother Sookie."

Whirling around a gasp escaping her Rebecca saw an older gentleman half sitting half leaning against a upright grave stone looking back at her and her grandmother.

"What…wait…Grandfather Niall? How…we haven't even summoned you yet." Looking at her grandmother she asked to be sure, "We haven't…have we?"

Shaking her head in the negative, but never losing eye contact with Niall, Sookie tightened her grip for a moment on Rebecca's hands. "Do you just wait around expecting to be summoned?"

"I had a feeling that I was needed and decided to check in." Niall shrugged his shoulders as if to say no big deal, but there was a hopeful yearning reflecting outward from his eyes as well. "I have not spoken to you in many years granddaughter, but I have watched over you. You have had a happy life have you not Sookie?"

Her anger at her Grandfather burned just as brightly as it did that fateful day so long ago when she come to him in search of a miracle. Her words came out harsh, "Don't even think to feel relieved that my life was a good life in the end. I do love my family and friends and I did have a good life, but who knows what would have happen if you had helped me when I asked it of you."

"You sought a miracle that I did not possess Sookie."

"Even if I believed you, I can never forget how you would not even try!"

"I am sorry Sookie truly I am. At the time I truly believe he was not worthy of you and was not a good match for you. I see now that I was wrong for I have watched you grow and have a beautiful life, but you have also had this shadow of sadness surrounding you left there by the loss of your heart's desire. I am sorry granddaughter and I know words are not enough, and will not change anything, but I wish to help you and Rebecca so please ask me what you have to ask and I pray I have the answers for you both."


End file.
